So if the struggle is too bitter, seek professional help. Be very specific about what behaviors you expect in order for the teen to retain their access, and create a plan to practice these behaviors and to have check-ins frequently. The sheer number and variety of ways to communicate and share digitally are both vexing and sobering for parents, particularly if they have tweens and teens. However, they can still be eager, sometimes impulsive teenagers, easily led into making mistakes. For all the media attention to the negative influences of the internet and social media, research shows that most kids are using technology for the same reasons that adults are. Know when you need help. And parents are rightly concerned about the possibilities of missteps in the internet age:
Because good advice comes cheap. Know where your teen is going online; pay attention to descriptions of online activities and interactions even if you find it uninteresting. Compromise and cooperation are the key words here. So if the struggle is too bitter, seek professional help. So, what can parents do before the punitive spirit takes hold, ultimately helping their teens and the parent-child relationship? Everyone is eventually going to have to learn how to use the internet and social media appropriately — even you! There may not be an app for it yet, but parents and teens are not alone with these challenges. And let them have fun teaching you about these things. This leads to a lot of confusion, and I am often consulted on the best way to deal with challenging situations involving the internet and social media. Put your expectations in writing. Our children are comfortable exploring the new digital world. They want to make new social connections, maintain high-quality relationships with friends and family members, and have access to information or interactions with others who share their interests. A parent might notice, for example, that their teenager spends a lot of time messaging with friends, including frequent use of aggressive or insulting language toward others. When parents can keep their cool and address challenging situations together with their teen, they provide opportunities for their teen to see them as a source of support. Either they will find another, often unmonitored way to access social media, or you lose the opportunity to guide them. Just as with drugs, alcohol and sexual activity, the digital world offers pitfalls teens have to learn to avoid. My first and most important suggestion is this: If you find something troubling, approach it in a nonjudgmental way, and remember that your teen might be struggling with it as well. The sheer number and variety of ways to communicate and share digitally are both vexing and sobering for parents, particularly if they have tweens and teens. Be very specific about what behaviors you expect in order for the teen to retain their access, and create a plan to practice these behaviors and to have check-ins frequently. Know when you need help. Or a parent who shares a tablet with their teen notices that the internet history includes searches related to sexual content or pornographic websites. We do well to develop relationships so that we can teach teens how to navigate these challenges, rather than reacting angrily or hoping we can completely shelter them from the digital world. And parents are rightly concerned about the possibilities of missteps in the internet age: However, they can still be eager, sometimes impulsive teenagers, easily led into making mistakes.
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